" I have a boy friend"

I couldn't believe my ears!!!

There she stood before me, fresh after bath, all glowing and pink, health oozing from evey pore after her early morning workout, smiling dreamily at me and mouthing it , caressing every word with her silky voice...

" I have a boy friend"

I could not remember a worse wake up call ever than this. My wife of 22 years. Of course she, having been a working engineer, has many male colleagues, friends, confidants, and I dont claim to know them all. Nor have I ever given a thought to it.

I quickly did a run through of the friends I knew, in my mind. Could it be that Bengali poet who I have seen giving her the glad eye? Or is it the mallu from next door? Naah he is way too outside her tastes. Then who could it be???  Racking my brains, I asked her the obvious. 'When did it start? Been long since you both know each other?”

“Just been a week” she said. “But I love him lots. He plays with me like you never do. He follows me everywhere the moment I see him. Even if I try and chase him away in full public view, he devotedly sticks to me. He escorts me to the gym and back every morning, very keen about my safety. He even comes with me when I am out to pay the bills”.

“I have given him a name too. My Red Knight”.

She, who in her entire life has never given me a nickname other than call me by actions, has even given a royal name to her boy friend.

"Oh!! Must be some rich man's kid, in order to pay her bills...er my bills" I thought. Mentally calculating how many days' worth of work is it to pay all the bills in our house, I couldn’t help wonder where I went wrong.

“You know he is quite young and handsome “, she said.

Oh! so thats it. I dont look good enough for you, eh? Hmm time was when you used to say I look handsome. One must make allowances for the years. The girth around the belly apart, it is only the balding hair  and the half deaf right ear  that is a bit worn. Otherwise I still am handsome.. I told myself silently. Tucking in my tummy, I asked her “so what do you plan to do???”

“What is there to do? I will be with him as long as he likes me. You see, he has many girl friends and it must be tough for him to remember me at times unless I go to him.”

I was thunderstruck. This woman, this impenetrable mountain of resistance to all the manly charm I could ever muster throughout my life, she is pining so openly for a boy friend who merrily dallies with his other girl friends while she pines for him??? And to think I don't have even one girl friend !! 

I have heard about the seven year itch! But a 22 year itch???  Just my luck!!!

Silently I turned away, shoulders drooping, and went off to take my bath. Office is waiting, I thought. At least my files wont let me down. Lemme get to them. So what if it is a Saturday ?

“Will you come with me to the bank, please?. We have something to attend to there. Also pick up some groceries.”

Oh! So that was it! She was eager to flaunt her boyfriend in front of my eyes!!!! I remembered her telling he hangs around some bank. I sunk deeper into self-pity! But still I could not refuse her wish. I have never refused a single wish of hers, ever. Gloomily I changed and went down. “ Glorified Driver", I muttered to myself.

He must be a bank thief,  I gloated darkly. Wait till she finds out the real him!!!  Then I will laugh the last hahahah!!!

I slowed down near HDFC. She asked me to go ahead to ICICI. All the time her eyes were searching. Looked like she could not find him. Hehehe I told myself . Maybe he has emigrated to Dubai!!!

Next day, early morning, I set aside my moans and woke up before her. Dusted out the long unused jeans and tee shirt, wore the stiff jogging shoes. She came out, all dressed up in her new track suit, hair tied in a ponytail, and looking every bit the girl I fell for in college  and not a Mom of two grown up kids. Definitely not the wife of an old balding fat dude like me , I thought glumly L

“Come, lets go to your gym”, I said. “I can do with that walk I have been wanting to take.”

She gave me a look as if I was a Martian stranded in Venus. “High time you did..she muttered. More than two years since you last saw the sunrise.”

We went out. The early morning darkness was just fading, and the road was empty save for a few walkers. All seemed to enjoy, dedicatedly thrashing away the remnants of sleep and the vagaries of vagabond nights on their bodies.

All of a sudden, her face lit up as with a thousand suns! Or so it seemed to me. There he is!!  She exclaimed delightedly. The happiness  was so infectious I forgot to sulk and eagerly looked in the direction she was beaming at.

And instantly fell in love with her boy friend!!!!

See him below, as I met him first. In all his glory.

For Her version, click here